CHOCOLATE FESTIVAL 2010 / ШОКОЛАДНЫЙ ФЕСТИВАЛЬ 2010

ШОКОЛАДНЫЙ ФЕСТИВАЛЬ from zoë wolkoff on Vimeo.

In an extended fit of Slavophilia, we decided to give these Russian candies a whirl. Since we can't read Russian (and have no immediate access to Russians til next week) we will name these bonbons in accordance with their thrilling labels and place the in order from least to most palatable.

1. Squirrel Chocolate

The package alleges a hazelnut filling, but this was an unsettlingly chalky little log of waxen disappointment. Zelda observed that the squirrel mascot, upon close inspection, has a sinister face.

2. Frolicking Bears

Who could have guessed what this one would taste like, judging by the wrapper? Most bears live on fish, grubs and berries. Sadly, the delicacy of Frolicking Bears' crispy wafer filling fell shy of a good treat by its margin of bitterness. Zelda: "It tastes more plastic-y than the others."

3. Colonial Camel

Promising the aromas of foreign lands, this is Babaevskiy's answer to North America's Coffee Crisp. Not really a showstopper, but better 'meh' than 'egh!'

4. Buzum Buddies

A courtly couple are featured on this confection's package, eternally suspended in their enjoyment of chocolatey companionship. This candy smells 'darker' (on the chocolate spectrum) than the others sampled and has an enigmatic, nougat-like filling that won us over.

5. Contemplative Polar Bear

This seems to be the aurora borealis of today's tasting. Balanced sweetness and the absence of wooden texture made this our number one choice.

If the internets aren't lying to us, also in existence (damned if we know where to find them) are these Babaevskiy products by the following names:

By the Fireplace

Silly Girl

Cockerel Sweet Head

Forest Gourmand

Hide and Seek

Clumsy

Magic Flute and

Beloved City

It's contest time! How would you make people hungry for this chocolate with words? We invite you to select one or more of the treats listed above and write a blurb of ingenius product copy for it. Send it in to zoewolkoff@gmail.com. If your copy is selected for the top 3 best unknown chocolate promo schpiels, we'll design and post the appropriate label along with your entry! First place receives a modest bag of imported Russian chocolates. Deadline: March 28, 2010.